So I guess throughout the years its dawned upon me that life's one big emotional roller-coaster and only when you accept that can you enjoy the ride and truly experience what it is to live. Now, where to begin, for most of us the ultimate goal in life is always to be "happy". So, how does one actually go about achieving that? Well I guess you could start by having the correct state of mind, no? Well, I've curated a list of ways to keep a positive mind frame throughout my life experiences. Here are a few things I've learnt along the way:
Learn to be your own best friend.
If there's one important trick I've learnt, it's that you must first find happiness in yourself in order for it to be truly valued and shared with anyone else. It's in our human nature to seek companionship and share our lives with others, but we must also remember the difference between being happy with others and depending on someone else to be the sole reason for your happiness. Throughout a person's life, there's going to be one consistent player in the picture, and that's yourself. I found that spending time alone helped me figure out who I really wanted to be and what I wanted out of life. It also enabled me to develop as a person and figure out the path I wanted to pursue. I also noted that setting yourself up to be an independent person has many perks: 1) You have time to discover yourself and learn what you want in life 2) Enables you have a clearer mind frame to work through your problems 3) Makes you more productive and motivated to achieve your personal goals (work, relationships etc). So, whether it's art or watching a TVD marathon, spending time alone is one of the healthiest things you can do for your sanity and independence. Once you have learnt to be independent and have self love your positive mind-set will reflect in everything you do.
Never compare your life to someone elses.
Yes, there's always going to be people with more money, more friends and more happiness. This doesn't mean you need to lead a life of "more" problems by over analyzing and comparing your lives. We can always admire and appreciate other lives, but we should never put our own in doubt. These feelings can curate jealousy / hatred and even disappointment within ourselves. We always need to learn that everyone has reached where they are for different reasons, whether it's through hard work or just an easy life. Because sometimes, what may appear as an amazing life, may not actually be all it's made out to be on the surface. We can only appreciate what we have and strive towards the goals we wish to achieve, and understand that everything always happens for a reason.
Keep good company.
They say you are the people you gel with, and well if you're gonna lead a positive life you might as well share it with those who appreciate the same values as you. You'll find that hanging out with people who fuel your negative side tend to hold you back from venturing out and understanding different viewpoints. You'll find that sometimes when you step outside of your comfort zone and build relationships with people you wouldn't necessarily picture as your ideal friends, tend to teach you the most valuable life lessons. I've learnt that it's not about the quantity of friends you have but the quality. Understandably there will come a time in life where you have friends who go through a life change or you naturally drift apart to which in some cases you may find the relationship has hit a bitter end. Just remember certain people were put in your life temporarily. The best way to deal with these situations is to love from a far and move on. Depending on the situation, these people may try to bring out a darker side of you by fueling arguments but the best way to deal with this is to remove yourself from toxic situations. It's always best to forgive and forget so that you can both move on with your lives.
Do more of what you love.
Whether it's travelling or cooking, dedicate time in your calendar to doing these things. Life can usually get quite filled when you have a full time job / marriage or even kids. This also doesn't mean you're life is over and you should stop doing what you enjoy. We can sometimes forget about the passions that we have in life, by setting time aside a week or every month can only be a reward to work towards.
Have confidence.
It's always nice to have a confidence and pride in things that you're good at. Nothing's worse than feeling like you're never good enough, because whilst there might be someone out there better than you or smarter than you, there is never going to be anyone who is "you". We all have our own difference and ways of working, so it's always good to have confidence and project this through everything you do. Whilst there may be times where you're confidence gets knocked back, it's important to always keep a strong mind frame. If it's something you truly believe in and think is right, pursue it - never let anyone put you down or dictate your life, only you have the power to that.
Stop reading into things.
You'll sometimes find yourself in situations where you'll find it easier to create fiction or over dramatize than to understand the truth. It's important first to realise why you're having doubt and questioning the situation, this is usually stemmed from something far routed than initially thought. Once you can understand the underlying issue, you can come to terms with why you over react and feel the need to over analyze. Whether it's lack of confidence or having trust issues, it's important to point them out and work on how you can over come them. Most of the time you just need faith that things will always work out, whether you're going to fail that exam or end that relationship sometimes things are just out of your control, and it's fine - because it's just how life works. Worrying / stressing and over thinking things won't change the outcome. So there's no point in egging on a situation by over thinking or reading what you want to read. Most of the times prove that the situation isn't even what it seems. So why worry? If something is going to happen it'll happen.
Learn to let go.
It's the hardest of them all, but sometimes we let certain people and situations get the best of us. So when you've reached a point of doing all you can, it's sometimes best to accept, forgive and move on. There's nothing worse than dragging negative feelings or attitudes along with you in life. It's sometimes hard to accept but certain people were only made to stay in your life for a certain period, so appreciate the time you had and the memories made and with this move forward remembering the positives, rather than dwelling and dragging on the negatives.Be happy for their life decisions and understand that parting is going to be a healthy decision for the two of you.
Live life to it's fullest.
Appreciate the small things in life, they end up contributing to the bigger picture.
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